The Exceptionally Underwhelming Gift Basket
Sometimes the right gift isn’t exciting.
It’s appropriate.
The Exceptionally Underwhelming Gift Basket is a carefully assembled collection of items that are high quality, widely acceptable, and entirely unremarkable. It is designed for situations where a gift is required, effort must be visible, and enthusiasm is unnecessary.
Presented in a premium woven basket, wrapped in brown cellophane and finished with a neutral bow, this is a gift that looks complete, considered, and correct — without attempting to impress.
Inside, you’ll find a restrained selection of shelf-stable food and drink items chosen not for delight, but for defensibility. Nothing bold. Nothing personal. Nothing that requires explanation.
This basket is suitable for corporate gifting, formal occasions, distant relationships, and any scenario where the safest option is the best option.
It will not offend.
It will not surprise.
It will not be memorable for the wrong reasons.
Contents
Each Exceptionally Underwhelming Gift Basket includes:
- A Bottle of Non-Alcoholic Red Wine
- Dealcoholized and dry. Included for completeness.
- Tinned Fish
- Preserved in oil or brine. Aromatic. Shelf-stable.
- Low-Sodium Crackers
- Plain. Crisp. Uncomplicated.
- Black Jelly Beans
- The black ones only.
- Air Scented Candle
- Burns cleanly. Smells like nothing
All items are arranged in a woven basket, wrapped in brown cellophane and finished with a neutral bow.
Contents may vary slightly by availability, but will always reflect the same level of quality and restraint.